8.10.03

Carnie poses nude too late!

Without spending a great amount of time describing Carnie Wilson's background, I will say that I have followed it up to the point where she appeared locally for a seminar on weight loss procedures at a local convention center.  While I was tempted to ask her if she would be willing to address a group of mourners for a "casualty" of the surgery, I was not so bold when standing before the woman with a microphone ready to catch every word.  I did, however, thank Carnie and a doctor who spoke for making the crowd aware that surgery is not the "magic pill" and it is only a small part of the overall loss of weight.  Even Carnie herself was careful to mention the possibility of maintaining weight if a strict diet and excersize routine were not upheld after having the surgery. 

I was not surprised though, upon seeing the shot of her that Playboy puts right out there in the open, that a garment is covering virtually her entire mid-section.  I wonder if the scar from the surgery and the removal of excess skin is kept completely covered during the entire shoot!  I can just about make out some signs of digital alteration of the photo, in the center where the corset stops.  The upper arms and pits are cleverly hidden behind her hair. I've yet to actually purchase a copy of Playboy in all my life, imagine that.  I have a box full of "Buf", "Plumpers & Big Women", "Big Butt", "Belly", and "Dimensions" magazines.  I've yet to purchase one of those mainstream mags that only feature the skinny women showing off.  I am so very tempted to purchase just this month's copy, having been reminded that it is the August issue she is appearing in.  By seeing all the photos, a few mysteries could be revealed! 

My limited contact with Mrs. Wilson was very brief and self censored.  I wanted so badly to see how she would respond to my question about speaking to mourners of a "weight loss surgery victim".  While I stood in front of that microphone waiting my turn, something happened to change my mind.  The man who would get a chance to talk with Carnie right before me burst into tears during his testimonial.  The man told her that he would "never go back" and would not trade "all the money in this room" for the experience of having the surgery.  After a testimonial like that, I felt it would take a larger asshole than I am to stick it to her.  I did make a quick comment before giving up my turn to speak to Carnie though, saying that "beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and I'm involved with Louisiana NAAFA".  To that I think I heard her mumble "good" and a few mumblings were going on in the audience at the time as well.  I quickly exited the main hall where she was speaking, and stood in the entrance of the convention center, still in awe of the beauty that lay before me.  There had to be at least 300 bbws surrounding me and all I could do was just look around, smiling. 

I was a lone "skinny guy" at a seminar for weight loss surgery featuring Carnie Wilson as the speaker.  I walked around with the "seminar kit" bag given to me at the door, holding onto it as proof that my "name was on the list" and I actually had legitimate right to be there.  I did approach a few bbws to compliment them on some extra effort I could tell they had made to enhance their already glowing appearance, but the few that I spoke with quickly evaded my conversation.  They were too busy trying to visit all of the tables set up before Carnie would speak and the "show and tell" area would be closed down.  When Carnie did speak, there was a slide show going on behind her, showing pics that would advance from her bbw years to her skinny years, and all the time in between.  What the slide show did not show you, was the "hot new pics in Playboy magazine August 2003 issue". 

I am still stunned and amazed that this has happened, and the comment she made right there in Playboy will be one for the record books.  Right there in the Playboy.com page that I have saved separately here for illustration, there is a mention of BBW magazine of all things!  It's gotta be a first!  I could not believe, BBW magazine mentioned by Carnie, even if it was in kind of a smart-assed context.  I have copied the interview with Carnie here as well, because Playboy puts it right out there in the open.  Right now I'm actually promoting their site by even mentioning it.  No doubt, it's sad to me that some women might check it out just to be "inspired".

I can't go on and on about my own experience before the "transforming bbw", because it would get too far away from my issue with this story.  I first discovered this was going to come about way back on 6.2.03.  The appearance in Playboy was not to happen until August, and it was just June.  The short story that would appear in "themilwaukeechannel.com" about Carnie would be printed and handed to me at my former workplace.  I would go into a rant about how shitty it is that Carnie had to lose over 150lbs before she could "let go and be free" in her own words.  What's really sad, is that she is saying other women can do it too, and she is pushing two books at the same time.  All that money!  I guess I would risk my life having surgery too if all this was lined up from the beginning!  If Carnie wanted to pose nude so damned bad, why did she have to wait until she lost 150lbs to do it!  Please, pretty please, somebody tell me that Carnie felt "free" for just a few minutes when she was over 300lbs.  Working with the thought "nobody wants to see this anyway" and snapped off a few pics of the bbw version of Carnie nude!  I was pretty upset when I read the story because of that one comment she made about her being "free" all the sudden just because she's thin.  In an interview with 20/20, she said that posing nude is her "redemption".  She wants to show other women that they, too, can "let go and be free".  After that quote, the next sentence in the article states that "there is no word on whether her scars will show." 

I guess I would be forced to buy the issue as "research", but I probably won't because the thought of seeing her thin when I never saw her big would probably be kind of disturbing to me.  It is so frustrating that Carnie had it in her this whole time, at any weight, and it would take losing 150lbs and probably a substantial offer from Playboy to do it.  I wish that I could have attended the million pound march and begged her to let me take some pics of her!  I don't think it would have happened, but at least with my friendship to Elizabeth Fisher from the Louisiana chapter of NAAFA there was some kind of shot at just getting to ask!  I could not go to the million pound march though.  Carnie didn't hesitate to talk about her own appearance there when she mentioned how sad it was for her to see the larger women chanting "big and proud, big and .. cough cough, wheeze".  She also said that they would march a bit, have to rest, and march a little more and have to rest again.  She huffed and puffed on stage jokingly as she talked to a room full of bbws and supersized bbws and nobody seemed to mind.  When she brought up NAAFA in the first place, having to say that they were a "militant size acceptance group", she actually had to define what the letters meant knowing that very few in the deep south would be familiar with them.  Maybe I should have asked her the question "Would you be making the comments about NAAFA that you did here if you were up north in a NAAFA "known" city like Philly or New York?" 

Carnie did not hesitate to mention the release of her two books upon completion of her talk, and of course the books are also being plugged in Playboy as well. I can't believe that the portion of the interview shown out in Playboy's "preview" section includes her talking about being "on top" and saying "And I would crush the motherfucker that was below me. I mean, think about it! I didn't even dare! No way." in her own fat-bashing words.  Way to go Carnie!  Real sensitive to the millions of those out there who are still bbws and damned proud of their body no matter what size it is.  Another one of those "I did it, so can you, and shouldn't you?" people.  She admits to smoking pot "in the past" during her talk on-stage, and it's astounding that there is more guilt when she talks about overeating.  "Hey Carnie, overeating is legal, at least for now!!!" Getting the excess skin removed and also getting a "boob job" were other announcements she made during her talk, pretty hard evidence of how messed up her self image was regardless of the weight.  Maybe after having some big round breasts she just had to get implants upon losing the weight because they had become "deflated" like her once sexy round belly had. 

I should probably show more reserve in speaking about my own distaste with the surgery, because I have a pretty broad audience here and may be found by quite a few people who have had it (the surgery).  I used to get frustrated in my dating days when a woman who just lost 100lbs would say she just built up the courage to approach me because of her "new confidence".  Maybe part of the passion to show bbws in a sensual and erotic light is my frustration with their own self depreciation.  I've seen the transformation of the bbw self image take place after seeing the sensual artwork produced using them as the subject.  Maybe if someone more well known were to step out of the clothes in a "classy Playboy style layout" for a website featuring bbws, it might stir some positive publicity for once.

It's my opinion that in making all the comments about being fat vs. being thin, and gathering the publicity of Playboy magazine, Carnie Wilson is actually contributing to a tragic national fat-bashing trend.  By saying other women have to lose weight to let it all hang out, and further making such negative comments about fat sexuality in a men's magazine, she is contributing to the "dark side" in the size acceptance arena.  Her publicity campaign will generate even more money for her no longer singing self, and the medical facilities that she speaks on behalf of who perform this barbaric, dangerous, and cruel surgery. The statements she makes in the medium that they are delivered in are a powerful combination, and I think that it sets the size acceptance movement back a few steps.  In other words, the million pound march that Carnie participated in has now been "canceled out" big time. She has had the surgery on the web (shameless self promotion, helping some and bringing others to an early grave), and now she is taking her artificial, "augmented", nude body to Playboy magazine.  I can imagine how Carnie will do for weight loss surgery what Pamela Anderson did for breast implants.  Now instead of hearing about husbands who try to force their wife to get breast implants, we will hear more stories about the wives who had the surgery and either didn't  make it alive, kept the weight, or lose the weight and dumped the superficial husband that they should have dumped to begin with. 

At first I thought Carnie could not do anything to make her contribution to "anti-size-acceptance" any worse, but then I started reading her interview with Playboy and she just managed to go way lower than ever before.  If I had the time to create a "fat basher of the month" award, about now Carnie would be getting it in the same month her nude photos come out in Playboy.  Way to go, Carnie!  I'm starting to get the feeling that the very worst fat bashers out there are female and were once fat!  I might be too hard on Carnie here, but it's because I have first hand knowledge of people who have never made it out of the hospital alive after the surgery.  Candy, featured in the "sample pics", still has clothing donated to her by the family of a supersized bbw and family friend who never made it out alive.  I have a much more personal connection with someone who has had the surgery as well, and I will use this medium to tell her story and the story of those around her. 

I should mention before the close of this article, that a surgeon I noticed at the Carnie seminar actually is a bbw!  It shocked me to no end, a bbw (under 300lbs) was performing surgery on women who were probably smaller than she is!  It's an even more astounding coincidence that the same doctor found my email address in a yahoo personal ad, and proceeded to answer my ad looking for a bbw!  This was about the same time Candy moved back in, so I never did get to see the doctor after writing with her, but there was a small chance of actually going on a date with a weight loss surgeon!  I would have pressed for all kinds of inside dirt on the surgery and it's consequences, but at the time I knew I would never benefit from dating her for that purpose.  She would know it, and I would come off as a maniac as well as wasting my time.  It's a small world though, when a doctor I noticed as a bbw ends up responding to a yahoo personal ad!

If you must see it, here is the shot that Playboy put out there in the "free" section, to entice anyone who wants to see just a taste of Carnie.
Interview with Carnie published in Playboy